January 24, 2017

One year ago today, Derek crawled into bed early in the morning saying that the side of his neck hurt. We snuggled for a while and he went back to sleep. When it was light, I could see what looked like an enlarged lymph node below his left ear. He had a chronic sinus infection, and I hoped that it was just an immune response to his infection. We didn’t know at the time the sinus infection was probably caused by the lymphoma in his face. It was the visible start to Derek’s horrible third battle with cancer. Exactly seven months later, to the day, he lost that battle. And so also today, we have somehow survived five months without him. It is agony to think back over the last year and remember how much Derek suffered. And it is a treasure to think of how God walked with us even on the darkest days. Treasured agony. Another oxymoron for my personal collection.